Growing from Disagreements

I’ve been thinking a lot about disagreements… what is the energy behind a disagreement? Or is there something about it that fuels growth, transformation… even more power?

And for that matter, what does growth mean? What does more power mean? Power as in electricity? Power as in “That was a powerfully moving movie”… In this case, maybe a bit of both.

disagreementFor that matter, what even is a disagreement? The modern definition is; a lack of consensus or approval.

As this year is wrapping up, looking back i’ve seen many different shared experiences i’ve had with different people. In fact, those shared experiences, both good and bad, are what make up a large part of this year. Other events sometimes look like riding planes, trains, playing video games… and yet even those are shared experiences with people.

And in some of those relationships, the energy has been a bit juxtaposed… meaning, crossed from each other, at odds with each other.. poised in a space of clashing and destruction, rather than a space of creation and manifestation.

Kind of a feeling like “Hmm.. no, that doesn’t really work for me. Can we try something else?” at least on my end, and with at least a handful of people.

I’m really interested in this from the perspective of.. is this inherently wrong? Does it have to be a bad thing? Or Mayhaps there’s something more going on than just that.

disagreementYou know, a VERY important discussion that fits here is “What exactly are you disagreeing about? What is the root of the problem? If we can come to a space of awareness about every aspect, we can fix the problem…. and that’s something I’d like to go deeper into later on.

As I mentioned in a video I made previously, Cycles N’ Sine Waves… When you’re in a disharmonic state, it serves as a bridge towards that harmonic one. You can look at all of the ingredients, imagine what you want it to look like, and then take the actions required in order to create what you really want.

What that harmonic looks like… is up to you.

Sometimes it looks like coming closer together, and sometimes it looks like going farther apart.

I could push one or the other, and in fact, I am. I always do. But my advice for those of you who are learning and going through the same thing I am… know that just as you create your reality, so too do those you’re creating with. They get just as much a say as you do, and should you come together, you can create together.

calvin-yellingSometimes people just want to pull apart though… Sometimes it’s you, and sometimes it’s them. Sometimes it’s them and they’ll say that it’s you, and sometimes it’s you and you’ll say that it’s them. Sometimes it’s hard to even tell which is which in the moment, and the whole exchange deserves a grand amount of attention and reflection.

And no matter how hard you try to create a connection, if they’re not there (or you’re not), sometimes you have to just let go, and go a separate path for a while.

Perhaps on the reconnection the energy will be different, something may have changed, which could allow for a deeper, and more meaningful, honest connection than you ever imagined it could be as it is now.

I suppose the big question is… is a disagreement worth sacrificing a friendship and relationship for? Can we overcome all of the obstacles and grow closer together? Or is this destined to go with the “easier” option of separating and sweeping it all under the rug.

I would very much like the former of those two options… But i suppose both of us will have to make that decision.

As You Will,

team work

13 thoughts on “Growing from Disagreements

  1. Why classify things like a disagreement as “good” or “bad”? in the first place? I don’t know that it accomplishes anything to do that. Perhaps when people disagree, it is time to reflect on one’s mental position relative to the other’s mental position. How flexible can you be? Do you see a chance at a compromise? If not, how disadvantaged would you be in disagreement? I do agree that a time apart has the potential to give way to better understanding and connection. But like you say, it is up to the individual.

    It would be nice (at least for me) to run into people who I once disagreed with and see how they have evolved and compare how we’ve evolved to find a compromise. Friendships are not worth sacrificing (I don’t know how many times I’ve disagreed with my best friend to the point of yelling and we’ve been friends for almost 20 years). However, there is something to be acknowledged when mentalities are no longer compatible. Care becomes difficult and you either drift away or put a stop to it right then and there. Nobody said you can’t give anybody anymore chances. But like you mentioned, it can only be decided by the individual.

    Check out my post “Right” and “Wrong” for some more possible insight. I do hope it helps.

    1. Hey Jacob, I loved your blog post. It was spot on.

      After i read this, I re-looked over my blog today and it seemed to me that even though i started with a “Good and Bad’ vibration, the blog quickly changed course and went into a different direction.

      I have since changed the name from “Are disagreements bad?” to “Growing from Disagreements”. I think it fits a little better 🙂

      1. Hello Jordan,

        Thanks for taking the time to read the article. I think the new title is brilliant and more conducive to the point you are making. In essence, it is what you and I and everyone else is experiencing: an opportunity to grow from such an experience. It is succinctly put. 😉

    1. That’s a very lovely way to put it, I think. Personally, I think of it like mitosis in cells. Maybe that is not the best analogy but your description fits (at least to me) very much like this process. Cells divide and create greater substance from that. They also work together to make that substance cohesive, if I understand cell biology. People might work the same way in the same respect, come to think of it.

  2. As Vi said no, for that exact reason….picture it this way. Energy can’t be destroyed correct? Perhaps a disagreement can be compared to energy colliding, as we come to understand its behavior thru physics. The energy does not go away, it transferred, reflected, some other outcome but never destroyed. In my opinion, disagreements..the energy exerted in the disagreement probably won’t bring instant change but if it happens enough times over and over…eventually I think that of which disagree at first will deflect towards a new path…until it encounters another disagreement. Agreements doesn’t have to be covered because…well…if something agrees with something else…then the energy flow continues together…perhaps probably even getting stronger. Like river it’s easier if you agree and flow with the current, instead of exerting opposing force against the current. We probably can not change someone who disagrees with us in the moment but perhaps time of colliding with opposing energy a change in flow of that energy will occur.

  3. I’ve been thinking on this topic a lot too. I see so much contention because of differing opinions I can’t help but think, does it really matter? OR what does matter? I am beginning to pull out of it and observe from a ‘3rd person’ type view with the discussion essentially muted. What I end up seeing is two people who think they “know” with narrow and rigid thinking, pushing their ideas at one another in the meantime compromising the things that matter most; respect, honor, love, peace.

    In reality I think we know much less than we think we do. All we can do is our best but we, as human beings, know so little when it comes down to it. The discussions may just be the ‘scenery’ to challenge our ability to truly love someone no matter their opinions or misbehaviors. If love matters most, and loving unconditionally is the goal, then naturally discussions or circumstances such as this will either expose our lack of love or challenge us to expand our level of love.

    If they choose to leave because the difference of thought is too frustrating to them, perhaps I can love from a distance and if they ever choose to return I will still love them. This feels more peaceful than any alternative I’ve tried so far. As with anything, it’s always changing.

  4. We can come together, it is possible. Through commitment to love I have found that disagreements can improve things for everyone. Separation is only ever temporary anyway.

  5. Good article.. and fitting for my current…time.
    My GF and I seem to be arguing more often than not lately and I just can’t handle it.
    So I’ve been tryng to avoid getting together, see if perhaps “absence will make the heart grow fonder” or what have you.
    I’m close to the point of just walking away though, which I don’t want to do…
    But Im seriously tempted lately. : /

  6. I think that a disagreement is bad when nothing was learned, excepted or understood. We only disagree when we do not understand where the other person is coming from. I does not mean that you need to change your opinion, it merely means that you need to be able to agree that you understand where they are coming from and except the reason for them to view something in the way that they do. This is very difficult to master.
    Disagreements can be good because it brings in a strong perspective that has not cross your thoughts and this is scary sometimes, that why we fight to change the other persons mind to the thought processes we have, to the way we see things. – disagree with each other because it opens your view to different angles of a situation, but accept the other point of view without letting anger take the learning experience out of the situation.

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