Love and Sex

Love is not about sex, but sex is certainly about love… or at least, it should be.

sexuality2When you’re in a relationship, and striving to create a powerful connection between you and your love, it’s important to recognize what the relationship is about, and why you are together in the first place. If its an intimate or sexual relationship, sometimes we (at least in western culture) often have a habit of making things all about sex… we don’t know any other way to do it.

It is in that sexual space that the “intimacy” happens, the lust, the romance, all of that jazz, and then afterwards it is usually followed by a great distance between each other in between the times when we’re intimate.

bad relationship

For some reason, it’s like the intimacy ONLY really happens in that sexual or intimate space. I’m rather interested in what that reason is, with the intent on changing it to something that works from its core.

Personally, i’ve certainly broken oh too many relationships through high school and college because I pushed on the sex button first, thinking that was the right thing to do, rather than exploring the true nature of intimacy and connection between the those I was with.

I think part of the reason is because.. well, that’s the way everyone made me feel it was supposed to be. The way people talked about relationships in school was “Well, are you f*cking?”. As if that’s all there was to a relationship… It took me a long time to realize that there was a lot more to relationships than just that.

I mean… have you ever sat down and asked the question “What even IS intimacy?”

Lol, I just did… just now as i wrote it. Here’s what i found.

“close familiarity or friendship; closeness.”

Interesting.

~ ~ ~

sexuality1Love is about the connection between those who love each other, and sex is simply one representation of what that connection can look like. It’s absolutely beautiful, yet if the connection isn’t there… Or rather, if the ONLY connection that is nurtured is sex, then the rest of the relationship feels empty.

In fact.. that’s not a bad analogy.. the relationship becomes an empty shell, an egg that went un-nurtured, or a seed that’s all alone without any egg to merge with… It simply falls apart, or dies, and nothing new can manifest.

broken hearts club

When the relationship is nurtured, loved and supported, and everyone comes from a space of exploration and discovery, well, magic can happen.

You both become a support structure for each other, you are both safe, and free to express who they really are and do what they really want to do, it opens up a whole new world of possibility, freedom and potential.

Couple Hiking

Not to mention, but you both get the opportunity to grow from each other, being a constant reflection of your most intimate self.

I think this is why most marriages don’t work out right, because many relationships are made to be about sex up until the point when it is forced to change. It has no choice but to grow or break apart. Once the marriage is set in stone and the ceremony happens, the meaning changes to be about creating a life together… nobody knows what to do.

If neither of those involved know how to create a life together, or support each other and love each other through all things, it simply becomes a jumble, and everything falls away.

girl relationship

Love is the awareness of the infinite connection between you and everyone around you, and it is especially strong between those that you are exploring an intimate space with.

Sex is a representation of that love, and how pleasureful and wonderful it can be when it’s nurtured.

I’m sure this is something i’ll be talking a lot more about in the future. Relationships are everything 🙂 Everything “relates” to everything else in one way or another, amirite?

We are One,
Jordan

 

55 thoughts on “Love and Sex

  1. I think it’s great when you’re open and honest with each other. If both partners agree that sex is all you are expecting then things can’t go sour when the distance becomes a factor. Anyways, mmmmm Jordan I think you just got me really horny reading this. Are you seeing anyone?

      1. I know you were asking someonelse but those two signs caught my attention, does it matter? What does two signs have in common? Im an Aries and my ex was a capricorn…

  2. Good Morning Jordan 🙂
    Wonderful content on relationship, love and sex.
    Love : the food of Soul.

    In many religion sex is considered as sin or something that we must stay away from it, please enlight on this.
    A question on world cycle. :
    I saw the sine wave cycle video from spirit science series.
    please mark that i am not marketing or showing off any religion or organization.
    i am bit confused between cycles because in Brahman Kumaris Ishwariya Vidyalay (NGO)
    they say that, this is the world drama cycle of 5000 years, it keeps on repeating. They say the same thong will happen after every 5000 years, and it is already happened before every 5000 years.
    These 5000 thousand years are divided in 4 ages , golden, silver, copper, iron age.
    I am confused because they say the cycle keeps on repeating after 5000 years then the question is how and why on earth do the archeologists find sacred things and cities which were 36000 years old, such as pyramids, Atlantis, Tablets,etc. also shown in movie Human History of spirit science series.
    Even if we find some thing that should be something of only max 5000 years old.
    As you have told in that movie that , there are cycles in cycles, and cycles over cycles. then we must come across people who are in different cycles (as cycle in cycle).

    Another question is what is the purpose of living if everything is a cycle and will keep on repeating even you don’t want to. Such as there is saying ” History repeats itself”. If the repetition is fixed than why do we try to avoid something or struggle for something to take place.

    Ooffff totaly got out of my mind whenever i tried to think about it, the cycles, sacred geometry, pyramids, natures pattern, space, light, consiousness, astral projection,etc.
    And above all this, schools and colleges don’t teach what is really needed.
    One more video on cycles will be required to understand it more better please.
    Thankyou for every wonder ful videos and posts , great content. My English vocablury is less to express my gratitude for you that feel, thankyou. Have loveful day 🙂

    1. Keep in mind that there is a difference between a cicle and a loop. A loop keeps on repeating itself where a cicle is merely a pattern that keeps repeating although maybe not every time in the same place or form.

    2. I might be able to help you with finding a purpose in living. If I can’t at least I can help you understand that there is a purpose for every being. Every action directly affects something. With this being the case everything you do will affect the world in some way. We are all connected. Every human does something that might not even be noticeable that will affect humans as a whole. That is your life’s purpose, to push the human species forward. That of course isn’t your only purpose. You have many! For example you may inspire a huge change in society by just showing one person love, that could be one purpose while another is for you to find enlightenment. There’s no limit to what you can do in your life. Don’t be discouraged by the fact that you have no pinpointed exactly what your purpose is. A lot of people never see it, or get recognized for it in their lifetime. If you remain in a loving state, eventually you will find your purpose for life right now. Besides this is only one life. There are many more. It is a cycle in itself (your lives and their purposes) and when you look at one section of the cycle it may seem incomplete. But if you look at the bigger picture, I promise you will find your way. I hope this helps :).
      Namaste
      Zach

      1. Thank you Zach and Rick, its been great help.
        Also I tried to be in loveful state, but its not that easy at time of few circumstances.
        Still I always do my best at being loveful.

        Currently I am pursuing mechanical engineering and I am gathering more and more info on free energy systems, pyramids, toroidal energy, creation pattern, and Nikola Tesla’s works.
        am finding a way to connect all these together & introduce to my colleagues and teachers to create something for betterment of beings on Earth.
        Thankyou for responses and likes.
        Love be with us. 🙂

        1. You’re welcome if you ever need anyone to talk to I’d love to talk in more detail. You can find me at my blog: forbiddenmuse.wordpress.com

  3. Beautifully said. Sex happens, but relationships orbiting around sex are not healthy. I feel like because western culture is so “my space, by bubble” it leaves much to be missed in the form of human contact. So, as a person grows, sex becomes the way make that contact. (Kind of along the lines of a person emerging from the desert gulping down water.)

    Love and Light,
    Breanna

  4. I definitely believe that we have lost our way a bit, in that people seem a lot more interested in sexual relationships than situations in where we learn from one another and get to know each other. I feel that truly experiencing other people is essential to our growth and enlightenment, and a little self control can go a long way. It takes a great deal of personal discipline to curb our distracting indulgences, and focus on what is healthy and beneficial to our overall long term well being.

  5. Intimacy can be obtain without sex…. Love and sex is indeed blissful. Honesty is the key to a good relationship. Being honest with yourself about what you really want and clearly communicating your expectations.

  6. Great stuff Jordan.

    Religion that teaches that sex is sinful, is in my opinion, doing so to deny the wonderful connection that can be created between two people in love. And by getting them to deny this natural aspect of the self they, the rleigious powers, can have more control over the people.
    I believe in Kama Sutra it is believed that the orgasm is coming(no pun intended) close to God. I have always believed that sex without love is a pointless if not poisoning experience. But then again, I am one of those that does fall in love easily and am trusting of others.

  7. Hey Jordan, Like spirituality and religion, Love and sex are great when they coincide. However you do not “need” to have one to get the other. Sex is a Very High Energy exchange, or it can be. If both parties understand Spirit and Energy. The breakthrough is when you feel safe, and allow your physical self to be explored by another. When you sense your partners pleasure and tune into the energy, then the race to orgasm becomes unimportant and the exploration, being sensual, pleasurable and spiritual, you can achieve permission for yourself to be vulnerable and true magical connection can happen. It does not occur simply by willing it, it takes practice and patience and true vulnerability. Vulnerability to allow yourself oneness. It is not easy, but it is very worth it. You know this magic. It is the fear of vulnerability that keeps us separate and out of Oneness.

  8. That is why I think that other cultures have it right. They have other ways to live that intimacy. For example: In the countries where girls only show their beauty (hair, skin, etc) to their husband.
    The only action of showing their hair and talk about it, becomes intimacy, without having sex.
    Some couples will have their foot massages, their pot smoking rituals, their monthly camping, or late night talks.
    It is, in my opinion, better to reach those before having sex so you can get to that place in the heart.

  9. Our society has really overdosed sex and turned it into this recreational thing when it SHOULD be about love and intimacy only… it should be just another way to be intimate with someone, not the only way…

  10. like so many other things mentioned on this site (and SS affiliates), once one learns and is in control of their own chi, these “issues” resolve themselves, naturally. no psychology needed, just mindfulness. (protip: practicing buddhists and high level martial artists already know all this stuff, have a conversation with one sometime…)

  11. To me love is a daily connection and expansion. It’s me, it’s you, it’s the bigger part of us that unites us. Sure l share love with everyone more or less but if l’m going to be in a relationship than it’s important for my partner to recognize that “love” or Divine masculinity within himself and let it burn freely. 🙂

    I’m patient when it’s comes to sex, l don’t let it control me. Sex got to happen with a man who’s aware and in control of his own sexuality. Only then magic and awesome connection can happen. That’s true love, the epic oneness and a good start.

    Love
    Sonja

  12. I think what is missing in most of these relationships that start with sex, is the process of cultivation.
    Why not start with really getting to know each others soul and spirit and keep the body for last. If you get to know each other well, lets say for 6 month you will begin to understand that cultivating the relationship is the most vital part for its survival and also it’s peeks.
    If one keeps forgetting to cultivate the seeds in the garden one will never enjoy the fruit it can bring. There will not be any.

  13. Spirit comes from the Latin word: spirare, which means “to breathe”. It eventually became translated as “the force that gives life” AKA what keeps you alive. Spirit eventually became affiliated with the word soul. This is because a body must have a soul to be alive. Spirit nowadays is much more than breathing though. My spirit, my driving life force is my love. My love of others and their love of me whether it’s sexual or not is what keeps me alive. In a sense relationships are everything to me. I think most people would agree. Think about it, what’s your spirit? What keeps you alive everyday? Questions lead to answers. Ask the questions and maybe you’ll come across an understanding of life :).

  14. Great post Jordan! I have really enjoyed following your spiritual awakening 🙂 Brings excitement and peace to my spirit simultaneously while on my own journey of discovery. Namaste

  15. Don’t you think it’s interesting how you start talking about sex and everyone goes “Good one Jordan” “Great post Jordan”? I mean it is a very good post but all of them are!, we learn a lot from all of them, they are all great because they are different . Advertising and occidental culture are still present in our ways, but hey we can change that 🙂
    I have a question for you Jordan it just came up while I was thinking about schools last day before holidays. There are lots of different amazing and beautiful ways to find or acomplish steps during your spiritual path and practice so maybe there are ways that are not as healthy or as good as the other ones right? I mean for example what happens when you smoke weed one day and you happen to have an outside body experience? or maybe one day you are so stressed and want to have a break from that so you take a pair of valiums and you start having contact with your higher self?…
    I think this is heading basically to the use of drugs or other substances or experiences not so healthy to achieve spiritual goals.

    I want to know your point of view about this topic, so if it wakes something into you let us know 😀

    Light and Love to all of US! <3 Namaste

  16. Nobody advocates lust,
    That ain’t a just,

    knowing is in progress,
    when breaths are roaring,
    soul is in reformation,
    when the hearts are merging,

    When the beings collide,
    They loose into nothingness,
    and in all absence miracle happens,
    only to come back and say WOW!!

    Love?
    It ain’t a reason for lust,
    Its a chord of common sense,
    attached to what has been witnessed,
    either you run away,
    or stay and strentghen it,
    To justify the new being!

  17. Sex is an expression of love ((therefore, it is not exclusive (unless all parties so wish) or possessive)). Love is an expression of awareness. Awareness is an expression of knowing Who & What You (We) Really Are.

    But sex can also be an expression of lack of love. Lack of love is an expression of the unconscious. Unconsciousness is an expression of lack of vision of Who and What you (We) really are.

    Therefore, in first and last instance Love is Knowledge, Wisdom, beyond a simple feeling. Love is the inevitable and natural state of the wisdom, vision and consciousness.

    Choose every aspect of life based on love instead do it so on the basis of dependency, lack, mental ideas, expectations, empty interior…
    Sex can be a stock to rise us or may be an action to feel even more empty at the end.
    Knowing us more deeply, connect more deeply, share that intimacy that you mention, share the unique experience of the expression of love and manifest the flow of vital energy. Sex is merging, pleasure and creation that brings us closer. This should be so, sex should never turn us away when it ends (even when there is not relationship as partners, merely is the vital respect between the parties, that is universal love, respect to the being for Who and What They Are. Love and sex based on freedom, not in possession. I choose you and you choose me from freedom).
    Perhaps the reason for this separation is fear, fear that we possess the ability to love and create that intimacy, fear of getting lost in the other, afraid to feel devotion, fear in the idea of suffering, fear to change, fear to feel … Ego.

    Like everything in life, each and every aspect of our lives we perceive in the same proportion to the level of consciousness of those who experience it.

  18. Having a reflection of your most deepest part of who we are is the natural representation of marriage. A friend who is there through the good and bad, to bring laughs and inspiration, to increase the growth of who each is through spiritually understanding life and it’s various applications with how it relates to each of you.

    A mirror in which you are able to find the most carefully hidden or forgotten attributes of who you truly are. As you bring your loving focus into connection with this sacred understanding your reflection shares their own personal touches of magic and beauty with you, the only one who could comprehend the profoundness of what these qualities mean and how they grow with each moment the two of you spend with that love through your daily life. Whether it be hard or easy these gems shine as love only can. For me this is love and marriage. It’s finally finding your way to the essence of who you truly are and without that person you’d be lost in your own perpetual selfish enclosure. It’s remembering the best parts of who you were to be on this planet or anywhere after each day.
    It’s a journey, it’s a salvation, it’s beauty, it’s peace, it’s joy, it’s full redemption, it’s love. Get to know your true self through the reflections of your other half.

    Love is that good to us. And there’s one out there for everyone. No matter who, what, or where you are. Love will find us all and the mirror will finally reflect love as it’s always existed. Perfectly.

    God Bless
    MirrorLiving

  19. Jordan you wrote a great article, and as a female its comforting to know that some males take time to step back from messages set out in our society and consider what is real in a relationship. So it’s quite well said, from a males perspective. However, I just want to point out that many women are faced with a different challenge. Just as males think that sex drives a relationship, women are faced with opposing messages regarding their sexuality. For example, we think that men love to have sex but if we are too sexual, men will think we are too easy. It’s difficult for a woman to explore her sexuality if she feels she has to hold back. So here is where the split occurs. Some women choose to explore their sexuality at the risk to shut their emotions, this is when the relationship is all about sex. The other women are afraid to explore their sexuality, become emotionally overreactive and demand men to take care of them emotionally. Men that love sex will usually run away from the second type of woman, because its too much of a burden. Men that will give these women a try, they themselves are insecure about their own sexuality. These relationships tend to be cute with strong feelings of friendship, but lacking in sex , discomfort in talking about it, or exploring what that is all about. Basically they just drop it and decide they can be together without sex being a main part in the relationship. I don’t think that either scenario is a case of expression of love.

    So how should women balance this out?

    What roles should men play here?

  20. Lovely article Jordan! And I think you are right in what you say about this. However as I read it I remembered something I read a couple of months ago. It was about soulmates and it mentioned the idea that a “soulmate relationship” is a relationship between two individuals that were meant to meet and learn from each other. That they were meant to grow and support each other and love each other unconditionally. The foundation of the whole idea was that they would help each other become the very best they could be and love them in a way that for others seemed impossible. And this made sense, and I soon recognized the description and felt like I happily had found a soulmate. Then again, some argued that we have more than one soulmate and then others start talking about twinflames which appears to be something entierly different.

    However, as I read your post I realised that you were talking about exactly the same thing. And I asked myself what the actual definition of a “soulmate” would be. Since, if we care for each other in a way that doesn’t require words to show love and always want the best for our partner, and they want the same for us, wouldn’t every person we fall in love with be a soulmate? If we were all taught how to love for real rather than using physical intimacy as a way to love become the current definition of a soulmate?
    I’m not being all about the definition here but I got a simple thought: If we all knew how to love for real and how to nurish a relationship, would we ever have more than one partner in this life?

  21. This was well thought out and incorporated from what was learned from what you have experienced. Thanks for being honest and opening yourself up and sharing it with the world. A close friend of mine and I have had this topic in conversation. And we always end up with the same questions..”why does everyone want sex?”. “Is sex really needed?” How long can you go without it?”. Sure, these questions may be strange but, think about it. Everywhere sex is featured, movies, books, music, advertisement. But is the take on sex that leads to believe that is where the love is?
    I say learn from yourself what you really want, who you want to be with and the relationships you want to build with. It’s a choice of who you want to spend your time with and make these memories with. I look forward in seeing more on this topic. I’ve been thinking a lot of it.

  22. This is good:)

    Last quarter I was taking an English class and we discussed the ‘idea’ of love in America and how it has changed over the years.

    We had to write an essay and I wrote mine on this ‘idea’. It was titled ‘All you need is love’.

    It had occurred to me after discussing with the class so much about it that our idea didn’t seem correct. For the simple fact that if you look at relationships on a large scale something seems off.

    Everyone knows this. I knew it. But until that class I had never put focused thought as to why this might be.

    It was love though. They way I came to understand this was amazing. It was like an explosion.

    Love is a connection. It was given to us to connect. This was the them of my paper. My main realization had been that we had taken ‘love’ an emotion and put it in a box. We had tried to explain what it is. And, instead of letting it be what is was; we told it what it was. Then we told our children this is what is. And it became truth. We explained the unexplainable. And we were making money off it.

    When I wrote it I felt alone in the my own new thoughts about this.

    That was about five months ago now.

    And the amazing thing is I’ve seen time and time again today being an example. That I’m not alone in this thought at all.

  23. I think love is simply that feeling when you feel a great joy when looking at the person you love or hearing his or her vioce …it is about that need to make him or her happy and wishing them all the best.. I totally agree with you, sexuality is a physical representation of that spiritual feeling.. But there is a very important issue that women and men differ in the way they love..it ls something related to their biology..so we need to take it into considetation..but as you said it misconception about what love is..is the main problem.. They are two souls connected and their sexusl connection is the physical embodiment of it 🙂

  24. Hola espero puedan traducir esto correctamente. La mayoria de nosotros hemos vivido una experiencia sexual. A veces es como liberarnos de una tension o una manera de liberar esa energia alimentada incorrectamente por el media y la sociedad que hemos creado. Pero que ocurre con nuestros cuerpos al tener sexo? fisicamente, energeticamente e espiritualmente… Bueno pues ocurre mucho mas de lo que pensamos. Algo que debemos tener muy en cuenta es que al compartir esta experiencia con otro ser, ocurren intercambios energeticos en el plano aurico, en otras palabras nuestro campo electromagnetico se alimenta e intercambia informacion energetica con el otro individuo, este kharma sexual contiene todas nuestras experiencias (aprox 8 años)…. algo para pensar
    Escoger con quien tener sexo nunca sera lo mismo. En mi caso, he experimentado el sexo ocasionalmente en mi vida pasada, pero desde que conoci a mi actual novia puedo afirmar que todo lo que experimente sexualmente en el pasado es una idea borrosa de lo que realmente es una experiencia sexual nutrida por el amor.
    y pensar cuanta diferencia existe tras alcanzar un mutuo orgasmo y abrazar a tu amor hasta descender a la tierra, y lo mejor de todo es que cuando desciendas el amor estara abrazando tu cuerpo esperando el siguiente viaje con tu ser amado.

    No conozco bien a la divinidad pero puedo apreciarla en la mujer que amo.

    Si somos uno, yo nos amo

  25. Hmm. I will express my thoughts on this. I will assume in this post (and in my comment) that ‘love’ is referring specifically to romantic love.
    On the one hand, I agree with the main point you have made in the article, that relationships should not be all about sex and that we should engage in creating and maintaining feelings of mutual limerence as well as fulling understanding people and exploring a deep love with them.
    However, I disagree with one of the inherent beliefs that this article was founded on. In my opinion, love and sex are two completely separate things. You can have sex with anybody. It’s an activity. Nothing more. The reason relationships go wrong is BECAUSE people see sex as an expression of love. If people opened their minds more to casual sex then people would take relationships to be something more than that. If you understand that sex and love have very little to do with each other then you will see that love is not about sex. Love is something different and deeper.
    That’s my view anyway.

  26. You are totally right. I feel so sorry for the women who go through casual sex partner one after another and then suffer severe self-esteem issues because they really don’t have one healthy relationship or man that stays to love them.

  27. Sex does not equal love, we must develop our ability for love and intimacy and work on ourselves through our relationships. To love completely and freely without attachment.

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