Loved and Lost…

Is it really better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all?

is-it-better-to-have-loved-and-lost-a-poem-by-pookyFor when that moment comes when everything that was so real just a moment ago is ripped away from your heart and you are left feeling cold and alone… in that moment… You know what it means to suffer. You know what it means to hurt.

In that moment is where you feel the depth of where emotions can take you. The feeling of wanting to throw a chair through a window, or tear down a telephone pole and smash it against things. That feeling of wanting to crawl in bed and never come out, because an important part of your world was connected to the one that you loved, and now that they are not there… an empty space remains.

And the forest burns.

Sometimes, the forest has been dead for a very long time… and it’s burning simply the required action in beginning anew.

002_2In other times, the forest is fresh and lush… and what must have happened for such a piece of majesty and beauty to have befallen such pain and suffering, that it must burn in its entirety…for what reason?

In that moment, as the forest burns, or as you stand at the edge of the field of empty, gray ash… in that moment you ask the question… did it really have to be this way?

Could it have gone differently?

Is there anything we can do that can bring it back to the way it was?

Is it really better to have loved and lost… than to have never loved at all?


It is only when the new seedlings begin to sprout up that you begin to relax. That empty feeling begins to vanish in place of a new-found love for what now emerges as the next thing. The next love, the one that rises from the ashes NEWSEEDSof what lay before. New understandings, new friendships, new abilities…

Maybe part of the forest remains, and simply needs continued nurturing to grow. In taking up that task that phrase begins to make sense… It really is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all… The love was important.

Losing it was just as important, there is something more to learn. Something more to see. Did it have to be that way? Maybe not, but since it did, lets take what we learned from it, and turn it into something new.

That’s how we learn. That’s how we grow.

I love you,

Now onto the next thing.


23 thoughts on “Loved and Lost…

  1. Part of my mind is complete in alignment with what you said Jordan. There is simply too much one can gain from a “lost love” to pass it up! For instance, I experienced the emotions of love and a) it was totally fucking sweet and took me to places I never thought possible. In fact the main reason I am here right now and seek to answer questions and question answers is because I experienced that. I was a left brainer. Slowly and steadily I became more and more imprisoned and structured in my way of thinking. I remember observing this change when I was little. What I noticed was that co lours were becoming more and more gray for some reason. In retrospect, I realize it was the left brain dominating the collective of “I”. Falling in love activated the right hemisphere and it rearranged my belief systems in such a way that it freed my mind for long enough to asses what is wrong with me and conjure up a solution. My intellect went flying through the roof and landed somewhere in Alpha Centauri. I realized the true potential of humans and fell in love with the species. Unfortunately, this only lasted as long as I could fool myself that things would work out between me and my love interest. Deep down I knew it was not going to happen and the only reason I allowed myself to believe otherwise was because I was enjoying my new vibration of positivity too much to let go. That was a mistake, for what followed was the darkest period of min imprisonment I have ever lived through. True insanity. Maybe it was the rapid drop in vibration and the fact that my body got used to all the “feel good” chemicals I was secreting at the time. I recently made amends with the person and I must say, I feel like we never knew each other. I kinda regret not letting go back then and saving my integrity. I wasted so much time skulking over this! I could have made insane progress in my spiritual evolution during these 2 years. I can’t even lie to myself and say it was all worth it, because right now, it feels like I blew away my health for absolutely nothing substantial! Nothing remains of the romantic period, not a memory or a feeling, just a field of ashes and dead trees…

    Oh, wait… 😀

  2. THANK YOU for putting the emotions so many of us struggle to keep buried in ourselves into words; for allowing us to let them free and be okay with it.

  3. I hope your heart heals soon Jordan . I am right there with you, someone I love was recently removed from my everyday life, and while the love is still there distance and circumstance make it difficult to stay in contact as much… Very sad.

  4. I just broke up with my girlfriend lastnight.. or rather she broke it off with me. I’m in a world of pain, and I hope I can pull through it.. My soul is so so tired..

    Right now I’m not being able to make sense of anything but I’m trying so hard.. Thank you for your kind words, they are timely and make sense.

  5. Thanks, wonderful. Since we created our own reality I guess heartbreaks is nothing but a lesson learned. We gave this pain and heartache to ourselves to teach us something. Sorrow is also a gift. Dont hate the source it came from. Just allow it and forgive. I hope you’ll let the light and love guide you. Love.

  6. My story- had nasty break-up. found a way to shut feelings off. did it for 10 years. met a girl. she spinned my head& heart around. downside- she’s not in to me. upside- I feel alive again. if I could choose, I would be on the other side of “feeling” spectrum, but as it is right now, I like, that “the engine” has started again.
    ergo-what’s the point of living, if you don’t taste both end’s of spectrum!

  7. Really Love it!!! Thanks Jordan, for the light you are, the light we are all. It’s true, one light can help the other to revive. Thanks for Be.!

  8. So the crux is… We learn lessons from our implement them into future conditions… So again fall in love with the same person.. With new thought’s nd emotion’s.. After all its love.. You gave your time…your soul to it…you can’t let it get wasted…. If you are true..,he/she will definitely come.. its a heart that governs love.. And its soft.. Its not a stone.. As its a heart it has to melt one day..

  9. You still have me Jordan. ^_^ I’m those seeds you put in a jar, and sits there until it’s time for you to sown when the time comes. Just seal it tight so that I won’t rot because of the moisture. 🙂 ILY

  10. I really really needed this right now…i stumbled upon it exactly at the time when i was feeling devastated because of my broken has inspired me and has allowed me to see beyond the dark shadows of misery that was about to engulf me completely…Thank you Jordan 🙂

  11. I don’t think a loss is ever really a “loss” because everything comes with a lesson too. I think back to relationships I’ve had in the past, when they were ending, I thought the world was ending with it. Looking back I see they were preparing me for the future, The forest might have burned, but I was still growing, those ashes were fertilizing future ground I guess you could say.

  12. Thank you, Jordan, for allowing us into all of your world and your heart. Now you are a complete, adult human being. You have had the sweetest and the most bitter taste that life has to offer. Time will get you to the balancing point where clear water tastes good again and the drinking of it will cleanse and nurse your soul back to full health. I hope reading all the comments will help to cleanse your palate. Wishing you the best.

  13. I’ve wrestled with this question before. There are a couple of different views I have about this. First of all, what have people learned to accept about having and losing? What impact have people allowed these concepts to have over them? How much of their energy have they poured into whatever (or whoever) it is that they have “loved and lost” and what does that mean for them? Is it really “over”, as some people tend to think is? This is not to diminish the possible emotional impact of something like “losing” but we also have to look at the way people have accepted things like “loving”, “having” and “losing” and what emotional responses people have accepted as appropriate (or inappropriate) in regards to these concepts. People are going to feel how they’re going to feel. The question is “why” and why is it given credential over something else? Maybe studying these questions will give further insight into understanding “love and loss”.

    My Writings. Thank you.

  14. Oh, beautiful Jordan, there seems to always be some pain in transformation at least in this density. One thing I realised is that love is never lost. The love you once felt will continue in the eternal forever of NOW. In times of sorrow, when your vibrations is a little lowered, you can revisit those moments, feel them, smell them, touch them, bask in the glory and bliss and then understand that that bliss is always inside of you waiting to be accessed if you so choose…. I know you know, but it’s just nice being told sometimes….with love & gratitude.

  15. “To know and love one other human being is the root of all wisdom.”-Evelyn Waugh
    I don’t think that love is the culprit that causes us heart ache, but rather attachment.
    My best friend passed away over the summer and that day I visited a spot on a mountain where we used to meditate. For the first time in a long time, I prayed. I asked if everything was going to be okay and if he know that I loved him. I was looking around at a random patch of dirt and leaves and just after asking my question I spotted a beautiful crystal shining up at me, this moment was a major catalyst in my spiritual development. I appreciate my loved ones on such a deeper level now because i see the impermanence of this life. So many of us waste time trying to gain things we don’t get to take with us on the other side! Losing somebody is one of the hardest things we go through living on the physical plane (what ever type of loss it may be….pain is pain) but I can’t think of a more powerful way to connect to a higher way of being than through love and loss. Please take care of yourselves whenever you are feeling pain. Some times simple things like a good nights sleep or eating a sandwich change a crippling pain in to some thing that isn’t so bad.:) I love you all!!! Namaste

  16. I have a wonderful, loving, amazing, loyal husband. Before him, I was engaged to someone else. He was my first love and my everything. When we broke up, I felt no reason to live. The pain I was in was horrible. It took me two years, many one-night stands, beers, cigarettes, self-hatred and abuse to finally let go and start living again. I felt unworthy of love and basically everything. (My ex had cheated on me.) When I finally accepted myself and stopped the self-loathing, I started to actually who I was. I met my now husband exactly one week after my epiphany and I’m very happy. However, I feel like I can’t love him like I loved my ex. There’s a part of me that died along with that relationship. Maybe it was my innocence but I don’t have it in me anymore. What I do have is respect for him for not abandoning me when I needed him. I love him with everything I have, but I’m less than what I was. I don’t see this as a bad thing. I see it as I’m a new person and I love him because I love him. I don’t need him like I’d needed my ex. I like myself as an individual and I like myself as one half of a married couple. A part of me will always love my ex and hurt but the rest of me is alive and apprecciating life. Jordan, my heart aches for you. You’re absolutely incredible and you inspire my husband and I to be better versions of ourselves. YOU have strengthened our marriage, faith, spirituality…everything! I really hope that you realize just how amazing you are and the gifts that you offer to our world. You have given so much to my husband and me and I wish I could give something back to you. All I can do is share my own story of heartache and let you know how much I admire you. Thank you for being you. Sending you love, peace, hugs, positivity and everything else that you deserve.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *