This morning i am on a bus, in between trains from northern California, to tucson for the tucson spirit science crystal quest. I was dropped off at 2am by Ray and Alexandria, and I miss them so much already. I have urgent spiritual work I must attend to, else I would not have left so abruptly. I haven’t felt called to go and do something with such force in a long, long time.
Theres crazy stuff on the horizon, but i wanted to take a moment to write about the experience I had when the bus stopped for a 30 minute break at a string of bathrooms disguised as restaurants (mcdonalds, taco bell, etc).
It was interesting to notice the difference between the behavior of the passengers… It was made clear to everyone that I am the odd one out.
Where mostly everyone got out of the bus and slowly made their way to get some ‘food’ from one of these bathroom-restaurants, I ran. I ran way into the distance, through a big field of gravel and then into a big grass field far off from the bus, or anyone. I just ran around back and forth, thinking, meditating, praying for the strength complete my mission… I was talking to the sun, (the son), and soon my clothes were off and i was basking in the glory of the holy light which gives life to the whole planet. (For those less spiritually inclined, the layman version is I ran around in the field with my shirt off, enjoying the warmth of the sun).
It was really, really nice…
I eventually returned to the bus with a couple of minutes before it took off, I tried sitting down but i was just too hot to sit in the bus and wait, so I went just outside of the bus, took my shoes and socks off, and spun poi with my socks to air them out as my feet enjoyed the small patch of cool grass for a few minutes while we waited.
I told the driver ‘just holler when your ready for me! The moment your ready to go, I’m on!’, he was pretty cool about it.
It was so refreshing to stand there, spinning, twirling around, accomplishing 3 things: cooling myself down, airing out my socks, and providing a ton of fun spinning sock-poi in the shade for a couple of minutes.
And then, once everyone was on the bus, the driver comes out and says ‘hey man! Were ready for you!‘ And then noticing what I was doing, says very earnestly ‘hey! Thats a great way to air them out!’. I appreciated his vibe on it, and I grabbed my shoes and started to walk in.
Heres the funny part.
When I got into the bus, there were a string of old, obese people who had taken the drivers cue as if he was making fun of me, to point and laugh. A lot of people were staring at me, as if I was this strange creature from outer space…
Literally! There were obese people making fun of me for moving! Or, for airing out my socks…? It was such a strange feeling. I have a ton of respect for these people just for existing, I love them because they ARE… I didn’t quite understand the story playing out at first.
I smiled and walked past them, I was feeling too fresh to really let it bother me, but I did take note that it still happened, and it did trigger an interesting emotional resonance in me. If I hadn’t just got my adrenaline going from the run, I might even be a little bit miffed about it.
It seems like… Whats the point of that, right? Is it a projected form of self consciousness? Do they just not see me, as I see them? Are these people just jerks? What is going on?
Upon my own investigation of the vibe what it seems to me is 2 things. The people who laughed were following the lead of the one who started laughing first, a lady who was very round in physique who probably had not moved like I was in a long, long time, since she was a child.
It was her own self conscience that caused her to feel so bad that she had no choice but to make fun of me, because her only other option is to feel really bad about herself. It was easier to put her emotional stagnation onto someone else so she didn’t have to feel it. Just laugh at him, and carry on with life being terrible.
Everyone else just followed her, like sheep to the slaughter. Well, there were a few who were staring just because they thought what I was doing was strange.
And don’t get me wrong, I would have known the difference if they were like ‘haha, wow! Thats awesome!’ In their vibe. I wish it was like that. It was definitely “hahaha omg you freak“.
So strange, this world.
And I sit here in the bus, smelling wafts of taco bell and mcdonalds while I drink water.
And truly I need to express, I am not implying anything like I am ‘better‘, but rather, taking very special care to notice the difference in peoples actions. I haven’t connected with anyone on this bus, and I doubt that I will. There is a gap between our collective consciousness so great that I’m not sure what I would even do, and a conversation would likely end up with me going to great depth to explain concepts that in the end, I wouldn’t even know if they were listening at all.
Its the age old concept, don’t cast your pearls before swine…. (Thank you Jesus, lol!)
The light shines bright through you, but if nobody is listening or paying attention… The light just keeps shining. Its when you turn to the light and say ‘hey omg thats beautiful! I wish to learn more!’ that facilitates the healing growth of connection.
I cant go out of my way to ‘enlighten‘ someone. I just have to act with light, demonstrate love through my actions, as much as I am able, with a striving to do better every day, and it will be seen and received by those who pay attention.
Man that taco bell smells good though. Its a shame I know whats in it, if I was ignorant too, I might even have some myself.
Anyway, this is a pretty good bus ride so far!
Ill keep you posted on the journey!