I asked God recently to help me… To lead me down a path to whatever it was that would invoke a deep, emotional healing within me, and those who I have hurt.
It came to me in a vision, a spirit quest. I needed to travel, it would only be a quick journey, but I had to go now, and if I didn’t, i would regret it for the rest of my life.
It was a really big pill to swallow, because I had already made agreements to be somewhere else… But as the mind of God flowed through my head… It was not something to refute. I would jump… And so i jumped.
The journey had 3 aspects.
First, the crystal quest. I was to find a radiant, divine crystal at the tucson gem show, and bring it to my friend the sage in Asheville, NC. While i was at the gem show i would connect with people there who i needed to connect with, and I would find those people by posting about it publicly and inviting them to come out.
Second, in Asheville there were several relationships with whom I had tarnished our relationships through negligence and lack of participation… Regardless of who did what in the past, I needed to set things right.
And finally… I needed to reconnect with Teal, in Utah. Her and I had a big falling out after December 21st, 2012, and it was time for me to reconnect. More importantly though, I crafted an invitation for her to, at her leisure, come out and visit my family and I in Avalon.
The message seemed pretty clear… With the way the world is right now, it is a requirement that we come together in spiritual union to reach as many people as possible to open the collective heart and move humanity forward through this transition.
From my minds eye I saw the rift that lay between us, my emotional body frozen over with ice, and my spirit unable to go to the depths of that emotional place.
And so I began thawing it, opening up my heart, connecting in spirit to all of those who I intended to heal with. Sage, Holly, and Teal..
And it seems as though the emotional pain that I had my hand in ran much deeper than i had previously even been consciously aware of. It was made clear to me… I am not very emotionally sensitive… And I want to be.
In fact, it had hit me in that moment that this is what I actually am going to see Teal about. She is a mature female, matching the energy of the Queen of Cups, the emotional aspect of the emotions, as depicted by the Four Elements through the Tarot.
My connection with her, when it was severed, a part of me went into hibernation.
And now, opening that part in me again, has brought a torrential flow of water, emotion, connection happening in me alone…it has exploded from me in so many forms, but it will not be complete until her and I can talk, connect, and open up the channels for open communication once again.
She is the master of that realm… And I can learn a lot from her.
In this moment… I have actually been denied access to visiting her. It was my fault, as the torrent of flow poured from me I sent her some messages that, out of context of everything I was going through, sounded as though I was coming to take her away, or cause problems in her world. It was a very big blunder, and came from my own lack of temperance to my newly opened emotional body…
I respect their decision, and thus I am praying that my message is heard. I have only the purest intents of reconnection. I am still coming to salt lake city… And I hope that I am received by them and the grace of God.