Love is not about sex, but sex is certainly about love… or at least, it should be.
When you’re in a relationship, and striving to create a powerful connection between you and your love, it’s important to recognize what the relationship is about, and why you are together in the first place. If its an intimate or sexual relationship, sometimes we (at least in western culture) often have a habit of making things all about sex… we don’t know any other way to do it.
It is in that sexual space that the “intimacy” happens, the lust, the romance, all of that jazz, and then afterwards it is usually followed by a great distance between each other in between the times when we’re intimate.
For some reason, it’s like the intimacy ONLY really happens in that sexual or intimate space. I’m rather interested in what that reason is, with the intent on changing it to something that works from its core.
Personally, i’ve certainly broken oh too many relationships through high school and college because I pushed on the sex button first, thinking that was the right thing to do, rather than exploring the true nature of intimacy and connection between the those I was with.
I think part of the reason is because.. well, that’s the way everyone made me feel it was supposed to be. The way people talked about relationships in school was “Well, are you f*cking?”. As if that’s all there was to a relationship… It took me a long time to realize that there was a lot more to relationships than just that.
I mean… have you ever sat down and asked the question “What even IS intimacy?”
Lol, I just did… just now as i wrote it. Here’s what i found.
“close familiarity or friendship; closeness.”
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Love is about the connection between those who love each other, and sex is simply one representation of what that connection can look like. It’s absolutely beautiful, yet if the connection isn’t there… Or rather, if the ONLY connection that is nurtured is sex, then the rest of the relationship feels empty.
In fact.. that’s not a bad analogy.. the relationship becomes an empty shell, an egg that went un-nurtured, or a seed that’s all alone without any egg to merge with… It simply falls apart, or dies, and nothing new can manifest.
When the relationship is nurtured, loved and supported, and everyone comes from a space of exploration and discovery, well, magic can happen.
You both become a support structure for each other, you are both safe, and free to express who they really are and do what they really want to do, it opens up a whole new world of possibility, freedom and potential.
Not to mention, but you both get the opportunity to grow from each other, being a constant reflection of your most intimate self.
I think this is why most marriages don’t work out right, because many relationships are made to be about sex up until the point when it is forced to change. It has no choice but to grow or break apart. Once the marriage is set in stone and the ceremony happens, the meaning changes to be about creating a life together… nobody knows what to do.
If neither of those involved know how to create a life together, or support each other and love each other through all things, it simply becomes a jumble, and everything falls away.
Love is the awareness of the infinite connection between you and everyone around you, and it is especially strong between those that you are exploring an intimate space with.
Sex is a representation of that love, and how pleasureful and wonderful it can be when it’s nurtured.
I’m sure this is something i’ll be talking a lot more about in the future. Relationships are everything Everything “relates” to everything else in one way or another, amirite?
We are One,