Loved and Lost…

Is it really better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all?

is-it-better-to-have-loved-and-lost-a-poem-by-pookyFor when that moment comes when everything that was so real just a moment ago is ripped away from your heart and you are left feeling cold and alone… in that moment… You know what it means to suffer. You know what it means to hurt.

In that moment is where you feel the depth of where emotions can take you. The feeling of wanting to throw a chair through a window, or tear down a telephone pole and smash it against things. That feeling of wanting to crawl in bed and never come out, because an important part of your world was connected to the one that you loved, and now that they are not there… an empty space remains.

And the forest burns.

Sometimes, the forest has been dead for a very long time… and it’s burning simply the required action in beginning anew.

002_2In other times, the forest is fresh and lush… and what must have happened for such a piece of majesty and beauty to have befallen such pain and suffering, that it must burn in its entirety…for what reason?

In that moment, as the forest burns, or as you stand at the edge of the field of empty, gray ash… in that moment you ask the question… did it really have to be this way?

Could it have gone differently?

Is there anything we can do that can bring it back to the way it was?

Is it really better to have loved and lost… than to have never loved at all?


It is only when the new seedlings begin to sprout up that you begin to relax. That empty feeling begins to vanish in place of a new-found love for what now emerges as the next thing. The next love, the one that rises from the ashes NEWSEEDSof what lay before. New understandings, new friendships, new abilities…

Maybe part of the forest remains, and simply needs continued nurturing to grow. In taking up that task that phrase begins to make sense… It really is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all… The love was important.

Losing it was just as important, there is something more to learn. Something more to see. Did it have to be that way? Maybe not, but since it did, lets take what we learned from it, and turn it into something new.

That’s how we learn. That’s how we grow.

I love you,

Now onto the next thing.


Gamifying our World


Previously I wrote a blog about being Engaged with what you’re doing, or just being out of it as you go along. I’d like to share with you today a new concept which has been emerging the past 10 years which will completely change the way that we do things. It’s already taking root, and will continue to the more we grow as a society.

Yesterday, I spent a portion of the day reading and watching TED videos and Extra Credits to get as much information about “Gamification” into my head all at once. Gamification is one of those topics that, while the idea is still emerging in our culture, it has yet to reach the masses in a big way that works for everyone.

Gamification is essentially taking the principles of what makes Video Games fun, like leveling up, experience points, connecting with other players, and applying them to our everyday lives and world.

In order to explain this, i’m going to cast a summon of Extra Credits to explain this. I absolutely LOVE these guys, so much so, that their series was my biggest inspiration for Spirit Science. It was a model that inspired me to build off of it in developing the layout and framework that Patchman uses in the SS series.

I want to see Gamification take hold in our world, and one way that we can all do that is by applying it to what we’re working on. It works particularly well if we’re actually working on something. I recognize that for people still in school, its’ a little hard to apply it when the teachers are the ones calling all of the shots.

Now, i’m sure there’s a lot more I could write about here… but to be honest with you, there’s some crazy things happening in my world right now and I’m just not really feeling up to it. So please, enjoy that video, post a comment, share it with someone who you think will find it interesting, and we’ll see you later! 🙂


Engaged or Out of It

Have you ever had an experience where you were super engaged with what you were doing? How about an experience where you were just out of it and didn’t really care?

I’m sure this feeling isn’t a stranger to any of us, although some of us may be more engaged more often, or perhaps more out of it, more often. It’s that “Working Hard or Hardly Working?” Yin and Yang duality. In truth, there’s nothing wrong with taking a rest and zoning out for a while, but it’s when we stay there (or too far on the other side) for too long that we cause problems in our personal lives.

Lately for me there’s been a rather clear distinction between the two, where in the past it may have been a bit blurry. You know, you’re “into” what you’re doing, but you’re not super INTO it.

It may be because I’ve been waking up early, and when you’re up between 4, 5, or 6, odds are that you’re going to be either working passionately on something right when you’re up (something you’re really excited about), or spending a few hours laying on the couch slowly waking up with the day.

There’s a blog I found on Forbes that describes some of the research that is going into this. You can read it here, it’s a little businessy, but just go with it.

bored-studentNow, I’m not sure exactly why it’s even up for debate, it seems obvious to me that if you’re engaged with something, of course you’re going to put more energy, time, and effort into it. If you’re not engaged with it, you’re going to diddle about until it gets done half-assed, or not done at all.

Whether you’re in school or at work… does that not just sound about right?

There’s a few directions I want to go with this… I’ll have to remind myself to write a blog about Gamification, because that’s by all standards a likely solution to the problem of a lack of engagement in our world. I’m very interested in that topic, and in the mean time, there’s something else i’m very interested in as well.

I have a feeling that a lot of people may ask “Well how do I get engaged in doing some stuff that I flat out don’t want to be doing?”. I’m asking myself that same question right now, reflecting back on times when I wanted to learn how to program with Actionscript and just couldn’t bring myself to do it because it wasn’t engaging enough.

There are two things that come to mind.

The first is, is what you’re doing really all that exciting to you if you’re not engaged? Are you genuinely interested in doing it, or are you doing it for some other reason? Are you only doing it so that you can make money? Are you only doing it so that you can afford to do what you REALLY want to do?

Kevin GallowayWhat if we were able to merge both what we wanted to be doing, as well as ways of supporting ourselves, into the same thing. We could be engaged with the world and our reality on a regular basis.

The second… is what’s stopping you from being engaged with what you’re doing right now? Maybe it’s not the most exciting thing right now, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be engaged with it. Maybe you want to be engaged but there’s a block. Perhaps you are trying really hard but there’s something missing.

Sometimes, getting the flow right is all about finding the right ingredients. Find out what ingredients are missing in this delightful dish that you are creating that is your life… and add them in. Is it new people? Is it a new piece of technology?

Whatever that ingredient is, might just be what turns your brothy water into a delightful soup.

As for me and actionscript… Back then, I decided it wasn’t quite time yet for me to learn it. I was very interested in making movies, and I didn’t feel as compelled to sink in all of that time, effort and energy to learn something I wasn’t going to use.

Today, I am still assembling the ingredients necessary. I would love to have a studio where I could be free to spend my days drawing, learning code, making games, movies, art, and all kinds of things like that. I’m looking forward to learning how to program with a bunch of people who simply know how it works and can show me the ropes. It’s going to take some time to compile these particular ingredients, but when that day comes, I know it’s going to be a blast 🙂

We are One,

ps. I’m looking for feedback on this blog… Were you engaged while reading it, or were you just out of it?



Questions about the God Particle

I was reading some comments and criticism on the new Spirit Science video about the God Particles… At first I was kind of in shock at all of the negativity on there. Charlie said it right in the video I posted in this blog – Sometimes what people do when giving Criticism is take the most amazing advice, ball it up in a fist and punch someone in the head with it!

I mean, that’s the vibe all over the comments…


The fact that this has 18 likes has to mean something… but what exactly would that be?

And yet, even among all of the punching and kicking and screaming about how terrible of a person I am or how awful at science I am… there are still some wonderful comments and questions as well, and I’d like to do my best to answer them, sometimes with more questions that expands the thoughts more, and sometimes with some of my own theories and ideas as well. Continue reading

To my younger selves…

I’ve been thinking… If I could go back in time and communicate with my younger selves, i’d have a lot to say… And for that matter, I believe you can actually do that in a way… not in a literal physical going back in time (at least not yet), but revisiting all of the events in your memories and recognizing a greater truth about what happened, and growing from it? Definitely!

So anyways, I was thinking about who I was when I was younger, in contrast to who I Am now, there’s a pretty remarkable difference, at least it feels that way to me. I wasn’t spiritual, I was rather mad at everything, and I almost always had my head in a computer or a video game.

I didn’t have many friends, and I pushed away on getting close to anyone pretty much all the time… If I was to be able to re-live high school with the level of awareness I have right now… Well I gotta say, it would be interesting for sure. I’m not even sure if I would be able to go. It’s all so boxy and yichk… Continue reading

Happy New Year!

Thank you for all of the comments and responses! It’s so appreciated, I learned a lot, and I got some great direction for moving forward 🙂

In case you missed it, here’s a link to yesterday’s post. 

Today’s post is sort of a checklist for me in creating a foundation for moving forward and the growth of my blogs and what have you.

So, as of today, January 1st, I’m going to be making posts on the days of the month that are Odd numbers. Continue reading

Creating a Resonance!

dream_catcher_burst - andrew jones

Painting by Andrew Jones!

Today, I’d like to create a resonance with you 🙂 It seems like the perfect way to end a year <3

I’ve been doing this blog for about a month now… which means that’s 31 blogs in a row, 31 days straight i’ve been writing nonsense… and sometimes real sense too I hope, in an experiment about communication, expression, meaning, language, all of that stuff.

It’s been teaching me how to write, especially in seeing and responding to the comments.

Statistics are very interesting. I have been paying attention to the google analytics on my blog for the past few days, in order to gain a better understanding of who reads my blog. Pretty much all I can see is “what blogs did well, what blogs didn’t do well, what blogs got a lot of comments, which ones didn’t”.

Interestingly enough, the Hobbit blog got a tremendous amount of pageviews, 2900!.. and yet only 4 comments. In fact, 97% of people didn’t stay on the page for more than 10 seconds!

It seems the ones that REALLY get people talking are blogs like “How to Change the World”, that one has a whopping 100 comments! And not just whatever comments either, you guys were seriously engaged with that writing!

Isn’t that wildly interesting? I think so! Continue reading

Growing from Disagreements

I’ve been thinking a lot about disagreements… what is the energy behind a disagreement? Or is there something about it that fuels growth, transformation… even more power?

And for that matter, what does growth mean? What does more power mean? Power as in electricity? Power as in “That was a powerfully moving movie”… In this case, maybe a bit of both.

disagreementFor that matter, what even is a disagreement? The modern definition is; a lack of consensus or approval.

As this year is wrapping up, looking back i’ve seen many different shared experiences i’ve had with different people. In fact, those shared experiences, both good and bad, are what make up a large part of this year. Other events sometimes look like riding planes, trains, playing video games… and yet even those are shared experiences with people. Continue reading

The Hobbit 2 ~ Movie Review

The Hobbit was one of the biggest anticipations of mine for the year! It was like a grand finale for the year and everything that’s been going on. 😀

The Hobbit 5See, for me the movie isn’t just a movie… it’s a reflection and representation of what’s going on in my life. When I first started working with Ray and building Panic to Freedom, that was right around when the first Hobbit came out, and we both went super stoked to go with each other because we’re two of the biggest nerds on the planet!

In addition to that though, afterwards we also read the book together, usually reading a chapter every time one of us would make meals, and we would alternate back and forth on reading. (We also read PatternMaster and Enders Game this year). I absolutely loved the book, it was a whimsical tale, very innocent and playful, and a very easy read at that.


I have a new rule for movie books

It’s better to have two enjoyable experiences, than one great one, and one that feels disappointing. 

If you haven’t read the book already, and there’s a movie coming out… watch the movie first. The book is always better… but the movie always seems enjoyable if you have no idea what it is going into it… So simply save the best for last, and both experiences are great! 

Continue reading

Weekly Community Calls Happening Saturdays… :O That’s today!

~ Update ~ The call is now over, i’ve changed some of this blog to be in the past tense 🙂 

Today I thought i’d let you in on the happenings that we just started happening as of last week. A live-streamed video chat which everyone is invited to be a part of!

PTF Circle LogoThe call took place at Noon (which at the point of writing this is about 3 hours away from now), where we’ll be inviting members of Panic to Freedom to log in and chat with us. Everyone is welcome, and we will be actively looking at the comments to answer any questions that come up as well.

You’re invited to come tune in, and if you’re interested in participating in the call, all that is required is your participation in Panic to Freedom. We are currently relaunching the program, if this holds interest to you, please check out the Homepage and sign up for our relaunch email list.

Continue reading