sheldon_cooper

The Intention Triangulation

GARD Pro Not Registered

I read something this morning that inspired me to write a blog… in addition to that, I just started this new blog, so i figured i should have at least one thing on here written by me… right?

I want to thank Ray and Marie, the two most EPIC people on the planet for helping me set this up too! The website works like clockwork, it’s so snappy, handles like a dream… I’ve never experienced anything like it. If you’ve been on the SS website, you might have an idea of what i’m talking about :P

Now, I read this article on a popular blog i occasionally read, and i found myself feeling a little anxious as i read it. I’m going to provide a snippet, and i’d like to talk about it.

“People have a tendency of saying that they are concerned about me and are warning me because they love me.  But concern is not love.  Concern is what happens when the mind is preoccupied with anxiety and negative focus as a result of distrust.”

I’m not sure i agree with this. The idea that if someone has concern for you, they are… trying to sway you to the dark side? Focusing on you TOO HARD with negativity and anxiety?

Lol, does that look anything like this?

sheldon_cooper

If someone was to come up to me and say “Hey brother, listen. I see what you’re doing, i see what you’re trying to create. You’re a buffalo heading for the cliff right now, and let me show you why”; I would turn and listen to them, and see what they have to say.

That line “Concern is not love”, is too absolute of a phrase. Concern CAN be love. It can come from a loving space of awareness that says “If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’re going to hurt yourself, I’m telling you because I love you and I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

Sometimes, you need to take that action just to find out for yourself. I had to do that, many many times. Ray often would tell me “Look, why are you even talking to these guys? Just look at the vibe, you can see that they’re only interested in you because you’re popular, not because they actually care.”

And i would always respond “I know you know what you’re talking about, and i still need to find out for myself.” I would go through the experience, find out what’s true, and then be on my merry way, onto the next one. :P

It’s funny, there hasn’t been a time yet when he’s been wrong.

~ ~ ~

By the way, there are two sides of the coin here. How it’s given, and how it’s received.  It’s not just about you, the One receiving the suggestion. And it’s not just about you, the One giving it.  It’s about both of You.

How did You tell the person that you were concerned about them? Did you come at it from an angle of distrust and fear? Did you come from a space of love and security?

And how did You receive it? Were you open to hearing their perspective? Did you ask questions about it, in order to gain a deeper understanding of where they were coming from, rather than immediately assume they were trying to sway you to the forces of evil?

Sometimes, people do care enough to have concern about you. When they do, I’ve always found that it’s not best to blow them off first thing, but find out where they’re coming from first. What are they trying to accomplish by telling you that?

Are they throwing you in front of the bus… or are they trying to stop you from jumping  out there yourself?

We are One

Jordan

GARD Pro Not Registered

13 thoughts on “The Intention Triangulation

  1. I liked the ideia of the blog :3
    Wow, Jordan, you really know what to say.. you have the ability to say what you think with few and amazing words.. words of love and peace.. your knowledge is amazing, and your intention too! i really admire you :)

  2. I feel that, even if they are showing their concern through fear, jealousy, anger, or any other kind of emotion that doesn’t feel like love, the person is STILL at the end of the day trying to help you. Maybe the person giving the advice isn’t as level headed as you might want, or maybe they have a really short temper and the actions that you have been participating in have pushed them to the edge, so anger is the only way they feel that you will hold on to what they are saying. Even in the meanest of times, when someone is just criticizing you, SOME PART of them knows, feels the connection between you, and so even the meanest of advice can still spawn from an area of love within the advice giver. Even if that area of love is surrounded and protected by fear, and discomfort. If the person is mean, and doesn’t seem to being giving you advice, as much as they are just ripping you down, they are STILL telling you things that you need to hear, and if your heart is open, you will take what you need from the angry advice, Say thank you (if you can swallow your pride) and learn from it. The angry advice giver loves you, even if they themselves do not know it yet, they care enough about you to explode their opinion at you. Don’t take it to heart as an attack of hate, yet understand it is (maybe an unknown) attack of pure love. I know that sounds crazy and impractical, but implement those thoughts into your next hostile interaction with your parents, or a friend, or anyone who cares enough to yell in your face. Because if they are doing that, they deserve to be heard, and you as the receiver deserve to hear them, and grow.

    With all the love that flows,
    Joshua

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  4. I see concern can be love too. It’s like this: a person wants to get from A to B. You know that person wants to get to B, and you are concerned their gps is off. You just want them to get back in the direction they said that they wanted to go. That is love. Helping someone stay the course.

  5. I like your lens to the statement about concern comes from fear rather than love. I know someone that I love very much that keeps running toward the cliff. Loved ones around them voice concerns from love and with worry. Listening and asking why the other is concerned has helped me avoid life altering paths I am grateful to have avoided. When my heart is moved to share my concern with someone we both aught to consider the intention. Life is about having others around us to tell us when it is not true or to look out and that there is another way.

  6. I got the notion of non-interference. If you know all are on their paths, guided in many ways, then you can love and let be – which some would argue is the smarter thing to do, as to avoid the negative reaction of a person on their path, their path which you are then persuading the person to alter.
    In this experience of polarity, this is the catch-22 of seemingly every situation. Express your love and have it received as good-intentioned kindness, or express your love and have it rejected, even insulted. In the case of the latter, one would argue to one’s self that “I should’ve kept my mouth shut and let them have their beliefs.”

  7. I agree and have similar feelings…. I found your post to be very clear and simple, which is why I enjoyed it … thanks for sharing Jordan!

    ‘Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler’ ;)

  8. “Nothing real can be threaten.
    Nothing unreal exists
    Herein lies the peace of God.”
    Introduction to A course in miracle

    Basically it states that fear, not hate, is the opposite of love. When you fear, there is no room for love.

    When you fear for someone, when you are “concerned”, you are thinking fear, vibrating fear, sharing fear. Why? Why share this level of consciousness? Who is it good for?

    The Dalai Lama (might have) said: when you feel anxious, you are in the future. When you feel depressed, you are in the past. Come back to the present. Be present.

    Love.

  9. I disagree with your disagreeing. Concern is not actually love (as far as the true, pure meaning of love goes). When you trully love someone you have to “let go” so to speak. Hence, when you are concerned about someone, you actually aren’t concerned about them, you are concerned about yourself and you are trying to avoid discomforting emotions that you will experience if something “bad” (if there is such a thing) happens to them. So basically you are being egoist and selfish to not let them do what they are doing because of the effects it might have on you. When you trully love someone, concern does not exists.

  10. Concern can absolutely come from love. Imagine someone you loved was addicted to one or more substances and coming closer and closer to death. Would you just let them be, or would you express concern? In scenarios like these, if someone is open and willing to listen, it can help them see their behaviours are serious and affect those around them.

    Most people are terrible communicators, especially when emotions come into play. I do think a lot of people express concern in ways that are not the most helpful, and in fact, may end up doing more harm then good. Thus it is true that by separating yourself from the interaction and gaining perspective by doing exactly what Jordan says and examining the motivation behind the expression of concern, you may gain some insight into how your actions are perceived by others, and you can decide whether this matters to you or not.

    I don’t think there is any statement regarding concern and love that will address every scenario, the two factors can express in so many different ways depending on many many other factors, each individual case will be different. There are many cases where it wouldn’t be valid to simply express concern and then say “they have to learn for themselves” and wash your hands of the situation. If a fellow human being communicated they were thinking about dying my LOVE + CONCERN for their life would motivate me to do whatever I was able to do to make sure they were safe. Distrust? Maybe. But perhaps they don’t trust themselves either and they want help. They have also given me information that I need to do something about, I wouldn’t be able to just sit and do nothing.

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